"Its everything I could have hoped for..."
My friend Heather brought a cool blog to my attention called "the antiracist parent". The site is committed to helping parents raise their children with an antiracist outlook on life. The content is really great and I enjoy reading it (when I have time). I love the site for so many reasons (more for another blog about raising children).
Recently there was a post: "Question: Do parents love adopted children differently?"
It was an interesting post - but what I found more interesting were peoples "comments". Regardless of how others felt it made me think...is it possible that I love Ben differently than I would if he weren't adopted? Its hard to say (since I have no basis for it). However, one thing was clear - loving ben, having ben as my son, being a family is "everything i could have hoped for."
During our wait for Ben so much went through our minds. Fear, excitement, anxiety. We had so many widespread coversations over the 16 months....
Will we be good parents? Do we know what we are doing? Are we responsible enough for this? Are we ready for this major change in our lives? Will we love him as much as we would if he were biological?
The last one (about our capacity to love), was less of a concern, however - one we discussed....
Its been 20 months since Ben has been home. Our love for him was so instantaneous from the moment we held him in our arms (among about 100 strangers in the middle of Newark International Airport - yet a topic for ANOTHER post). And from this instaneous feeling was an enourmous overwhelming feeling and capacity for love.
Every day Ben makes us smile and warms our hearts. He is such a special child who has the capacity for sympathy and empathy at such a young age, asking others how they are and impressing others with his manners (including us!).
On the way to going out to dinner last night to our favorite family restaurant Matt and I were talking about how happy we are (we were also talking about whether or not we ever think we would adopt again and have more children - yet again - another post....but note: the answer is I don't know for now ;-) ). I told Matt: - having ben and raising a child is everything I could have hoped for.
When we got home and put Ben to bed Matt said "what you said really made me think. we had so many thoughts running through our minds when we were going through the adoption process and you are right: having ben is everything I could have hoped for too....times 10!"
So - would we love a biological child as much as we love our adopted child? I'm sure we would. However, I do feel strongly in my heart that with adoption comes a special, additional layer of appreciation for your child. The want. The wait. The distance of thousands of miles separating you from your child for months on end. It has made each day with Ben one that we never take for granted. We are so blessed...its ridiculous.
Recently there was a post: "Question: Do parents love adopted children differently?"
It was an interesting post - but what I found more interesting were peoples "comments". Regardless of how others felt it made me think...is it possible that I love Ben differently than I would if he weren't adopted? Its hard to say (since I have no basis for it). However, one thing was clear - loving ben, having ben as my son, being a family is "everything i could have hoped for."
During our wait for Ben so much went through our minds. Fear, excitement, anxiety. We had so many widespread coversations over the 16 months....
Will we be good parents? Do we know what we are doing? Are we responsible enough for this? Are we ready for this major change in our lives? Will we love him as much as we would if he were biological?
The last one (about our capacity to love), was less of a concern, however - one we discussed....
Its been 20 months since Ben has been home. Our love for him was so instantaneous from the moment we held him in our arms (among about 100 strangers in the middle of Newark International Airport - yet a topic for ANOTHER post). And from this instaneous feeling was an enourmous overwhelming feeling and capacity for love.
Every day Ben makes us smile and warms our hearts. He is such a special child who has the capacity for sympathy and empathy at such a young age, asking others how they are and impressing others with his manners (including us!).
On the way to going out to dinner last night to our favorite family restaurant Matt and I were talking about how happy we are (we were also talking about whether or not we ever think we would adopt again and have more children - yet again - another post....but note: the answer is I don't know for now ;-) ). I told Matt: - having ben and raising a child is everything I could have hoped for.
When we got home and put Ben to bed Matt said "what you said really made me think. we had so many thoughts running through our minds when we were going through the adoption process and you are right: having ben is everything I could have hoped for too....times 10!"
So - would we love a biological child as much as we love our adopted child? I'm sure we would. However, I do feel strongly in my heart that with adoption comes a special, additional layer of appreciation for your child. The want. The wait. The distance of thousands of miles separating you from your child for months on end. It has made each day with Ben one that we never take for granted. We are so blessed...its ridiculous.
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Sunday, February 11, 2007
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Sunday, February 11, 2007
Thank you so much for linking to Anti-Racist Parent! I really loved reading this post. I hope that you'll stop by our blog often, and become a part of our community. We need thoughtful parents like you. :)